“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.” Marcus Aurelius
“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” Marcel Proust
Recent studies have shown that 68 percent of Americans and an approximate 87 percent of adults around the world are not happy in their places of work. Although we often blame dissatisfaction on bosses or unfavorable working conditions, we sometimes sow the seeds of our own misery without even realizing it. Psychology being the study of behavior and mind, embracing all aspects of conscious and unconscious experience as well as thought has shown that the stipulated behaviors below can lead to our own frustrations and stress at our places of work.
1.Complaining about how bad things are, instead of doing something about it
If you look hard enough, no executive’s decision is above negotiation. This is especially the case when it comes to decisions that involve change. Whenever you disagree with your leader’s judgment, instead of giving them the credit they deserve by following through with their guidelines, you hinder the necessary changes that they may have consulted widely and decided to act on it at the time to bring the much needed change in your organization.
2.Blaming others and playing the victim card
Human beings are not perfect, we all have our flaws and we do make mistakes. When employees don’t meet your expectations or when vendors don’t deliver on time you might be tempted to blame them for your problem when actually you are also to blame. Maybe you didn’t provide enough training. Maybe you didn’t build in enough of a buffer. Maybe you asked too much, too soon.
Taking responsibility when things go wrong instead of blaming others isn’t masochistic, it’s empowering-because then you focus on doing things better or smarter next time. When you get better or smarter, you also get happier.
3.Not Smiling enough and never laughing.
If you act cheerful most of the time, people will see you as one of those happy employees who actually likes their job. If you can’t find your smile, just remember you have not lost it. It is right under your nose, you just forgot it was there. People who smile more often at their work places have more chances of being promoted that those who don’t smile often. This just shows the power of smiling and how skipping this step is detrimental to your happiness at your place of work.
4.Aiming for perfection
Does life at your place of work have to be perfect before you are happy? Do you have to behave in a perfect way and get perfect results to be happy?
Then happiness will not be easy to find. Setting the bar for your performance at an inhuman level usually leads to low self-esteem and feeling like you are not good enough even though you may have had a lot of good or excellent results. Go for good enough, that will save you the misery of having to deal with the guilt and unhappiness that comes with being a perfectionist.
Isolating yourself from social interaction with your colleagues is a big catalyst of feeling unhappy. Research says it’s the worst thing you can do. It is a huge mistake to isolate yourself, as socializing, even when you don’t feel like doing it, is great for your mood. We all have those days when we just want to pull the covers over our heads and refuse to talk to anybody, but the moment this becomes a tendency, it destroys your mood.
Acknowledge that happiness is fleeting, you just have to get out of your cocoon and go find it and keep it alive, your work place will never be the same again.
6.Trying so hard to Impress
People will like your clothes, your car, and your fancy job, but that doesn’t mean they like you. Trying to impress other people is a source of untold unhappiness, because it doesn’t contribute to the nourishment of your fountain of happiness. Finding people who like you and accept you for who you are should not make you unhappy, all the things you acquire in the quest to impress people should not be a necessity. Beyond the disappointment you experience once you realize your workmates only like your material things, you discover that you’ve gained them at the expense of the real things that can make you happy, such as rue friendships, taking care of yourself, educating yourself further, and bettering your CV etc.